• Gerhard Lustig


  • Gerhard Lustig


  • Gerhard Lustig


  • Gerhard Lustig


    FAKTISCH im Pendel
    zwischen ICH und WIR


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Da Geld, da Tinte!

Vorsicht: Der folgende Text enthält Passagen, die geeignet sind, bei sensiblen LeserInnen Abscheu, Ekel, Grauen oder  sogar Depressionen auszulösen.

Alle heimischen Fachmedien waren auf der 30. AutoZum in Salzburg vertreten. Die Messemacher hatten mit deren vier Spitzenvertretern zur Eröffnung eine Podiumsdiskussion organisiert. Andreas Übelbacher nahm daran nicht teil, weil er für sich und sein Medium darin keinen Nutzen sah. Gegen die Annehmlichkeiten der Exponenten samt damit verbundenen Inseraten hatte er nichts einzuwenden.

Andreas Übelbacher ist ein smarter Kerl: „Waßt eh, Niederösterreich für Rapid. Und im katholischen Bundesland rund um Wien ist Rapid Religion!“ In seiner Auffassung von Zeitungsmache ist das sein Gebot, welches „Ü“ – im Gegensatz zu Rapid – meisterhaft auszuspielen weiß.

Übelbacher, übrigens meine Entdeckung, mutierte vom einstigen ORF-Journalisten rasch zum reinen Anzeigenkeiler. Und Buffettiger. Und Fotografen. Branchenteilnehmer kennen ihn aus unzähligen Veranstaltungen, die er punktgenau dann aufsucht, wenn das Buffet angerichtet ist. „Dann mach ma no schnell ein Bild vom Gastgeber und den vorbereiteten Text nehm ma mit.“ Zwei Monate nach dem Ereignis steht es meist textlich unverändert in der Zeitung. „Waßt eh!“

Das Podium schwänzte er, beim Buffet glänzte er. Dazu folgender fiktive Smalltalk: „Meint der eine Besucher zum anderen: Sie sind die ganze Veranstaltung so still …“ Darauf antwortet der andere: „Sie sollten mich einmal essen und trinken hören!“

Übrigens: Dass „Autoservice“ in keiner Qualitätsstudie aufscheint, ist – da Geld, da Tinte – Übelbachers Kalkül.

Herzliche Gratulation! Wir lieben dich, denn du hast bewiesen: Die AutoZum ist auch ohne Dein aktives Zutun recht ordentlich gelaufen und das Gemeinsame für die Branche ist nicht Dein Ding. Deine größte Qualität ist das Warten – warten auf das Buffet.

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Gerhard Lustig

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